Over the last few weeks I've noticed a little change in my oldest, Logan. Maybe its the whole gearing up for back to school or maybe it's just the age thing that's he going through but I see him doubting himself. Almost like he's lost confidence in himself. It's breaking my heart. And it makes me feel like I've failed him. He's only 7 and I have always believed that children get their confidence from their parents. He is super smart and thinks things through well beyond his years. He's very loving and can cuddle like no other. He cautious and while I always saw that as a good thing, I now see that characteristic taking over him. Lately I've been hearing a lot of "I can't" or "I'm not good at that" and I as his mother don't know how to boost him to where he believes he can. Of course I encourage him and tell him he's great but how do I make HIM believe that? Logan has been through a lot in his little life. He's fully lived the life of a military child. Aaron deployed when Logan was 3 months, returned when he was 15 months, then left again when he was 3 and returned a year later when he was 4. He's lived in 7 houses in 7 years! (Our home now is the only one he's stayed in for more than 1 1/2 years) And now, even through we try to shelter him, he's aware that his father was injured in combat and is forever changed because of war. Logan has sacrificed more for his country in the 7 years he's been alive than what some people do their entire existence.
Logan is a people pleaser and he doesn't want to have anyone mad at him. His younger brother is about the only person I've ever seen him stand up. I just want to figure out how I can show him how wonderful he is and how much potential he really has.
We have just got the boys signed up for football for this season. Logan LOVED playing last year and had a great time at both of the football camps that he went to this summer but heres the problem. He is moving up to an older division and will be playing tackle. He's scared of that which I understand. But instead of trying it he just wants to quit. I just hate to see him quit something he loves because he's scared. I want him to understand that being scared is ok but you can't quit something because you have a fear. I never want to force my kids to play a sport and some people feel like I am forcing him to play but I just don't see it that way. Don't get me wrong, if he tries it and doesn't like, he does not have to play. This attitude is also carrying over to other sports. He announced at the table last night that he wasn't going to play baseball either. When we asked why he said he didn't know he just wasn't going to play. Well I know that deep down it's because he fears being hit by the ball. Even though he began to catch very well he's still scared. And he feels the answer to this is quitting. I just don't believe that letting him quit on himself it the best thing. I'm torn. I've prayed. And I do feel that pushing him to face his fears is the best thing. I just need to find my confidence in the decision. Aaron is torn too. He doesn't want to make him do something that he doesn't want to do but he doesn't want him to quit something because of a fear. But last night I convinced him to try. I told him to just give practice a shot and see if he likes it. He doesn't have to play in games if he's not ready. He said he would try which is all I'm asking. I just want to see him achieve and get the confidence booster that I know he will get. I want him to believe in himself as much as we his parents believe in him.
As I close I want to leave a few pictures of the this past weekend. We went to the an air show which kicked off Week of the Eagles on post. The boys loved watching all the airplanes do all their tricks. This "Mustang" was their favorite!
This has to be one of my favorite shots from the day:
This pilot was amazing. Not that the others were not but he did more tricks and flew so low to the ground it scared me! But lastly another favorite shot, the flying salute to our Armed Forces.
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