Babysitting Day

Today I watched Amy's kids for her. She had a CPR class to go to so her two kiddos came over to play with the boys. It actually works out pretty good. Her Logan, Logan Joshua we call him, is 6 months younger than our Logan. And her little girl Abby is 6 months older than Lane. The Logans are best buds and have been since they met almost two years ago. Now that Lane has gotten big enough to play he and Abby have a lot of fun together. Today was a good day. The kids played and had a lot of fun. Our Logan was a bit whinny at times but I guess that's normal for a little boy whos having to share his toys and do what his friend wants to do instead of just what he wants to do. All the kids layed down around 12:30 to take a nap. Everyone except our Logan was asleep before 1:00. I had to make him lay down and eventually sent him upstairs by himself so he would sleep. Finally he did. Thankfully! Logan Joshua was the last to wake up and when he did it took him a minute to get back in play mode. The first words out of his mouth were "what's all this noise in here for!" When I told Amy she said, "just like his father!" Lane decided he would steal Abby's sippy cup today. She of course drinks regular milk and though I've started the transition to milk for Lane he is still taking formula for the most part. He is usually pretty picky about the sippy cups he drinks out of and when I give him one with the spill proof stopper in it he usually won't touch it. But he was determine to drink Abby's drink and sucked down a good bit of her milk today. Little stinker. Poor Abby was having to steal her drink and pacifier from him all day cause he kept taking both!

I had decide to cook dinner for all of us because I knew that after Amy had spent all day at school she wouldn't want to have to worry about dinner. I put a roast in the crockpot and threw a few sides with it. The roast was pretty good I might add. Logan ate it and that says a lot! Amy hung out for a little while. All the kids were getting tired and whinny so she had tohead home. Lane took a bottle and went straight to sleep. Logan tried his best to stay up for a little while but it didn't last. He loved on his Daddy Doll for a while and then headed upstairs. He misses his Daddy so much. I can't wait to see the look on his face when Aaron comes home. That is going to be one happy little boy. I bet his smile won't fade the while time he's home on R&R. And I know a Daddy who won't stop smiling either. Those two have a very special bond. Like father, like son!

Here are a few pictures from today:

Lane looks like he's saying, "hummm....what shall I get into next"...with his crazy hair of course!

Logan and Abby were loving on each other...her Daddy's going to love this picture!!!!! She was wanting Logan to hold her too. They are so sweet together!

The boys were playing around before Logan Joshua left.

Abigail was posing for the camera!

Ben 10

The boys and I started our morning a lot earlier than I wanted. I tried to get them to be a little lazy for a while but they were not having it. Lane was crawling around every where and I just knew he was going to fall off the bed. Then he did. Right on his head. He didn't even cry. In fact after the shock of it...he started laughing! What is it with boys? We all got ready and then took Logan to school. Lane and I were off to Walmart. That's always an adventure with Lane these days. He's so friendly and "talks" with everyone. So I'm always getting stopped because people are talking back to Lane. He will randomly wave at people too. Hopefully it brightens their day. I don't see how it couldn't. I switched out Logan's Ben 10 shoes and then headed to the toy department. Lane had gotten two of the same toys for Christmas so we were switching that and then Grandmother had sent Logan $20 for his birthday. He had instructed me that he wanted Ben 10 stuff! I picked out an action figure of one of his favorite characters, Swampfire, and a Ben 10 long sleeve shirt. Lane picked out a vacuum cleaner. Well I guess I kind of helped. It's really cute though and Lane is always following me around when I'm vacuuming!

I had a staff meeting at work today so Heather watched Lane for me while I went to that. On my way to get the boys I called Amy back, she had called while I was in the meeting, and she invited us to go eat KFC with her and the kids. Logan Joshua wanted to see Mr. Potter! As if they hadn't just seen each other last night and probably ran into each other at school! So we all met up and enjoyed some dinner.

When we got home Logan came straight in to find his new stuff. He was so excited. He has never been into something the way he is with Ben 10. Not sure why he loves it so much! He put the shoes on and then the shirt. Then of course had to get his Ben 10 watch which he has worn everyday since he got it. I just had to take a picture. Here he is holding Swampfire.

His Ben 10 shoes came with the first season of Ben 10 so he went straight to the play room to watch his new shows. Lane and I hung out downstairs. He played with his vacuum. Mostly just making it make noise. I haven't got him to walk behind it yet. He stayed up later than I thought he would but now he's sleeping away. Logan is back down here with me but of course is still dressed in full Ben 10 gear...including shoes...playing with his action figures and pretending to fight the imaginary bad guys! I'm watching Flashpoint...yes Aaron it comes on again now and it's soooo good!

This a picture from a few days ago. I found it when I was getting that other picture off my camera. I just love the look on Lane's face. Logan was chasing him around. They were having so much fun!

Rough time for Matthew

Matthew has been diagnosed with C diff. C diff is short for Clostridium difficile. It is an intestinal infection which can be very serious. He is now taking antibiotics and will be on those for 14 days. Pam and Jim noticed that the last few days he had not been feeling well so the nurse did a culture and it came back positive. But today he seemed to be feeling a little better. The doctor also told them to give him buttermilk and yogurt (thru the feeding tube) to promote the "good enzymes" in his system.

So keep remembering him. Thanks for your prayers!

Our Today

The boys and I woke up to Aaron's phone call this morning. They were back in from a mission and Aaron was pretty excited that he was going to get to sleep on his cot tonight. Kind of amazing how a few days without a bed will make a cot sound like a luxury! Poor guy! He talked to the boys a little. Logan was kind of whinny so it was hard to get him to talk to much. After we talked to him the boys decided it was fun to play in my closet. Logan found some of Aaron's old uniforms that I had stashed and he decided he would play with them. He put the jacket on and told me he was going to work with his Daddy! When we came downstairs we got breakfast. Sat around and were lazy for a while. Then Logan helped me scrub the dining room floor! Cori asked if she and her kids could come by cause they had bought Logan some Ben 10 shoes and Wyatt wanted to bring them over. Logan was so excited about the shoes. They ended up being a little small so we are going to switch them. Logan was not understanding why he couldn't just wear them all day. So tomorrow I have to head to the store. Tonight I had to watch Amy's kids for her while she went to class. Logan had a lot of fun today playing with all his friends and Lane had friends to play with too. So it was a good day for both of them. They were both tuckered out when the house became empty! So now they are both in bed and I'm about to head that way. Nighty, night!

A Small Miracle

This morning the boys and I came downstairs to find our beta fish, Mr. Charles II, floating at the top of his fish bowl. He gets his name from a fish I had when Aaron and I met. When I bought him he came with this little card that said he was Mr. Charles. I felt no need to change the name. Aaron always made fun of me because I talked to Mr. Charles. When I would get up in the morning I would tell him good morning and tell him hello when I came home. He was my pet. Well he is long gone. So when Logan wanted a fish and we tried keeping alive some little fish in this cheap tank we bought only to have them die way to soon; we went for a beta. Very easy to take care of and quiet pretty. We have had Mr. Charles II for about a year now so I guess I knew the end was near but I was still slightly sad to see him go but slightly glad that I wouldn't have to worry about cleaning the tank anymore (I know that's really mean!). Not that Logan really loves him but he's the only pet we have now. I wasn't too sure how to tell Logan so I just said that Mr. Charles had died (that may sound harsh but he has asked me before when the fish would just be sitting still and not doing anything...but I would peck his tank and he would swim around). His reply, "Oh man, not again!" I guess he was referring to his other fish that had died. I told him that Mr. Charles had lived a long time and he was a good pet. Logan didn't really care. He went on with his day. My friend Amy and I had just been talking about how surprised we were that both of our betas were living so long. Amy, mother of Logan's best friend, Logan Joshua, has a beta named Frank the Tank. Her poor beta has had some kind of eye problem where his eye was all bugged out and then his scales had some kind of disease. She treated him and he had lived through it all. Our beta had always been in good health and seemed to keep living despite me not cleaning his tank quiet as much as I should! **Whoops** So when she called I gave her the sad news. I was just joking around about how I thought that fish would live through anything but I guess his time just ran out. I told her that I hadn't flushed him yet and laughed about how funny it would be if he started swimming once I dumped him in the toilet. It was seriously a joke. I went over to look at him while talking to Amy and noticed he was no longer floating on the top but was now floating on the bottom, still on his side though. Amy's reply, "oh yeah, he's a goner!" I don't know why but I kind of poked him with this flower that sticks out of his tank...AND HE STARTED SWIMMING!!!!!! I screamed! Logan came running. I told him Mr. Charles was alive! He was excited and wanted to see. I showed him and this fish was swimming around like nothing had ever happen. I swear he was dead this morning. He was floating ON HIS SIDE. Isn't that what fish do only when they are dead...I mean I've never seen a fish sleep on his side...do fish even sleep? I poked at him this morning and nothing happened. But now he's swimming around like the happy fish he always is. I'm about to go clean his water. Maybe even buy something new for his tank. I mean I think he deserves some kind of treat or something!!!!! Amy says she bet Mr. Charles out lives me!!!!!! I know this may sound strange...but I swear our fish just came back to life!!!!!!

Long Day

Today was one of those days that seems to never end. Feels like it started two days ago! This morning got off to a rough start. During my first surgery I started feeling like I was going to pass out. Thankfully I finished the surgery and then took a moment to gather myself. I just couldn't get myself to feeling right. My stomach was killing me and the girls were telling me to go home. But I decided to make myself get something to eat...food was just not sounding good at the time...but it's what I needed. After getting something on my stomach the day got a whole lot better. Well at least I started feeling better. Crossing my fingers that this virus is over! The day however just seemed to go on slower and the patients, well you meet a lot of different characters. People are quiet fascinating! The boys had a good day at school and at the sitters. Both were in a good mood when I got there to get them. Logan wanted to eat dinner at the "star place." Carl's Junior. So we grabbed some dinner and headed home. I talked with mom for a bit and played with the boys some. Lane has found that yelling at me in this screaming manner is how he wants to let me know that he needs something. I'm trying to not give in to his screaming because I don't want it to become a problem. So when he wanted something and he let me know with a scream I would tell him "no, no" and wait for him to stop before I gave him whatever he wanted. Well Logan decided that I wasn't being nice to him and said, "Mom he's just a baby!" He is such a stinker and always surprises me with his little comments. Where does he come up with this stuff!

I talked with Aaron early this morning. He was a little stressed out so please say a special prayer him.

Yesterday and Today

Work yesterday wasn't too bad at all. The scheduled allowed for some down time and we all enjoyed every minute of it. We had a day full of laughs. It got off work around 4:30 and then picked up the boys. When I picked Lane up the sitter told me that she was amazed at how Lane responded to people in uniform. She said that when her daughter walked into the house the other day Lane started crying and wouldn't leave her alone. He wanted her to hold him and Lane did not stop crying until she picked him up. The sitter said that today when one of the other kid's parent walked in and they were in uniform he did the same thing. She says she is pretty sure that Lane hasn't forgotten about his Daddy! When we got to the house I went straight to cooking dinner. After we ate Lane was super tired and I was not feeling too good for some reason so we all went and laid down in the bed. Logan watched cartoons and Lane tried his best not to fall asleep but he couldn't help it. I just kept feeling worse. My stomach was killing me. I figured that once I woke up I would feel fine. Unfortunately I didn't. I just felt weird I guess you would say. I went to work and then I started feeling hot. Not really temperature hot but just like I was going to start sweating. Then I got a phone call that Logan was sick with diarrhea and I would need to go get him. So Lisa took over my surgery that I was about to go into and I took off to get Logan. When I got there to pick him up he seemed to feel ok. He and I came home and went straight to bed. I slept and he laid in the bed and watched cartoons until he fell asleep. I slept from about 12 til 4 when the phone rang! When we got up I went and got Lane. As usual he was happy to see me. After I got his coat on he started reaching for the sitter like he wanted her hold him. Which made me feel really good. He likes her! Neither Logan or I wanted much for dinner. Logan asked for cereal and I wasn't sure if I wanted anything. So far I have had potato sticks and that seems to have settled my stomach. I'm going to try to eat something else just nothing to much. Logan on the other hand seems to be fine. So more trips to the bathroom since we have been home, thankfully.

I talked with Aaron yesterday morning. He was just calling to say hi and see how we were doing. He seemed to be in good mood and doing well.

I did want to share a conversation that Logan and I had on the way home today. He is always full of questions. I was asking him about his teachers and which one he liked. He said Ms. Ina was is favorite. Then he asked if I had a teacher. I said no that I had a boss. "What's a boss mom." Well I informed him that the boss tells people what to do and makes sure that everyone is doing their job. He says, "mom, can I be the boss someday." I told him sure that he could be whatever he wanted to be; he would just have to work hard. Then he says, "Mom are you the boss." I said no and he wanted to know why. He said, "mom, do you just not work hard enough!" I said no that I just didn't want to be the boss. I was happy just doing what I do now. He just didn't understand why I wouldn't want to be the boss!

I have a couple of prayer request that I would like for you to remember. I got news that Matthew was not feeling to well. They did a culture on him and are awaiting the results. Mom could not remember what it was they were looking for but if it comes back one thing then it could be really hard on him. They said that it wasn't an infection though and has nothing to do with his head. So please pray the he will heal from what ever is bothering him. My other request is for my Grandmother. She found out today that she has a cancerous tumor in her breast. She has a few options that she is thinking through so please pray that with God's help she will make the right decision. She goes back to the doctor next Monday so by then she hopes to have decided for sure what her course of treatment will be.

Thanks so much and have a great week!

Kissy Kissy!!!

Lane learned how to give kisses. I was holding him here on the couch and we were playing. He reached up and gave me a hug. Then he smashed his little face against mine, then he laughed really big. So I gave him a kiss on the check and then he did it again! I said "awe thank you. Can I have another kiss." And he did it again. It was so sweet. When I took the boys upstairs to tuck them in bed and I told them to tell each other goodnight. Lane aways waves at Logan. But tonight I told Lane to kiss brother goodnight. And he did. He smashed his little face against Logan's. Babies are so precious!!!!

Week 18 down!

Oh yesterday...seems so far away! There is a reason I try to write in this every night...I forget everything if I wait! However I remember going to the grocery store. I've been putting that off because Lane had been so fussy and I worried about having to run through because I had a screaming baby. Thankfully he was good and so was Logan. Other than that we were home all day. Wish I could say that I slave away on the house...but that would be a lie. I did pick up a little so that counts for something! Lane was still pretty clingy and couldn't be pleased most of the day. His naps lasted about 20 minutes and only if he was in my arms. That is not like him at all so I knew he wasn't feeling good. So needless to say by the end of the day I was exhausted...mentally. Logan as usual was taking charge of the TV so I decided to watch a movie online. My friend told me about this website where you can watch movies for free...some are brand new movies in theaters. The site says its legal so...who knows. The catch is that you watch 72 minutes of the movie and then you have to wait almost an hour before you can finish it. You can buy an subscription or you can wait. I just wait! So I watched Bride Wars. It was really cute and I will see it again. Logan watched the first part of it with me and then he says, "mom, I'm tired." So I tucked him in and he was out before I walked out of the room. While I was waiting for the movie to come back on I read my book that I have been reading. It's a James Patterson book called Cross. It's pretty good. It's the second of his books that I'm reading and I'm really starting to enjoy his writing. It's pretty easy to read and very catching. I hate reading books that are full of words that I don't know. I don't have to use the dictionary while I'm reading. I'm lucky enough to get the time to read!

This morning the boys and I went to church with our neighbors. They have been going to this little church outside of town so we went along. Aaron and I haven't had the best of luck finding a church around here. We either don't feel welcome in the church because no one no much as says hi to us or they decide to stalk us! And I really mean stalk us. That's another post in itself! So this church was nice and Logan enjoyed the children's church. We walked the boys to the 3 and 4 year old room and Logan wasn't having it. He wanted to sit with me. Well the neighbors little boy is almost 5 and he wanted to go to the older classroom so we walked to drop him off. Well Logan took off with him. For some reason he liked this class room and wanted to stay in there. The other class room offered him cookies but this one was more of a sit down, have a discussion style class. Which I feel is better anyway so they agreed to let him stay so he stayed in there. He had a lot of fun and was telling me how they sang these songs. He was so excited. The teachers said he did really good. I was so proud of him. Such a big boy these days!

After church we headed to eat Chinese at Pagota. Aaron is getting angry with jealousy while reading this! He loves Pagota. It was tasty and I had my usual. Mu-Shu Chicken with hot tea. I think Logan drank half the pot of hot tea himself! He had white rice...and didn't want anything else. Such the picky eater. Lane was so tired by the time we got done eating and he was getting fussy. The neighbors were going to McDonald's to play and eat ice cream and they asked Logan to come along. Of course he wanted to. So Lane and I came home so he could nap and Logan went to play. I got to enjoy some peace and quite which was really nice. Logan stayed at the neighbors for a while then they brought him home. We had dinner...I made sausage balls and we had hot dogs too (at Logan's request!). While I was on the phone with my mom the boys decided to have a screaming match. Lane was starting it. He would scream as loud as he could and Logan would scream back. Thankfully Logan wasn't screaming too loud but Lane wasn't holding back at all. Mom thought it was funny...and it was cute. They would scream and then just laugh. This is still going on! Those two are going to be a handful. Now its screaming...I don't even want to think of what's to come! Boys! Got to love them!

Better day?

Well hopefully today is the beginning of a good day. Thursday night Lane's bottom tooth finally broke through. I was thinking that would be the end of the madness but I was wrong. Friday morning I had an appointment to have my back looked at. It has been really bothering me since I fell. Heather had said she would watch Lane for me. I felt bad leaving him knowing he wasn't feeling good but he was excited to see Heather so that made it easier. Logan went to school. As usual I was unhappy with the doctor I got to see. The thing about having to go to an Army hospital to be treated is that you never know what doctor you will get and there are new doctors in and out all the time. Well I have had back problems for years and in high school an xray was done on my back so I know how messed it is normally. Just ask my mom, my back looks nothing like an average person's back. It's shaped more like an S! So I tell this doctor my problem and he has me bend over and move my arms and I have to tell him where it hurts. That was my exam. He said well I'm sure you didn't break anything because you are able to move ok so I don't see any need in having an xray. Ok that's fine. Then I tell him about what I was told about my back in high school and he tells me to stand up so he can see if my spine is straight or not. Well picture this...I have on a sweater with a tank top under it...he tells me to bend over...without pulling my shirt up...and he says, "well your spine looks perfectly straight to me!" But on the plus side he did refer to me physical therapy which will be off post so that is good. That way I will have a chance for someone other than a non-caring Army doctor take a look at me and see what he thinks. I just want to not hurt anymore...I'm sick of not being able to do stuff because my back flairs up. I mean come on, I'm 25 I shouldn't be having problems like this!

When I got back to pick Lane up he was sleeping. Heather said he had been out of it the whole time I was gone. Which was only 35 minutes! She said she could tell he didn't feel good. He just had no energy. When I got there he just crawled into my lap and wanted me to hold him. He never falls asleep in my arms but all he wanted me to do was hold him. The more Heather and I talked the more worried about him I got. She though I needed to take him to doctor just to make sure he wasn't getting dehydrated. So I did. They said he was fine and I just needed to give him lots of fluids. I was a little surprised that they said no formula but they did. They said if he was still like this on Monday to bring him back. But today he seems to feel better and so far no more diarrhea!

We ended up going to Amy's last night to have pizza. While we were there Aaron called. He was doing good. A little frustrated at some things that were going on there but that is really nothing new. This unit hasn't been his favorite unit by a long shot. But oh well, you can't always have everything you want! For some reason God has put us here. We are certain of that. We have tried to get out of this place way to many times only to be told no. I told Aaron that even though we may not understand it, God has his reasons for placing us in this place and he will take care of us and get us through it. So far he has not let us down and I know he never will. Just please keep Aaron and the other soldiers in your prayers. We are 4 months in now...wow! Hang in there babe...we will get through!

Just talked to Aunt Pam

And Matthew is still doing good. It is so amazing at the turn around he has made just since having this surgery. We all were pretty sure it would make a difference but to see (well hear on my part) what a huge difference it has made makes us wish we had pushed for it sooner...but God has a plan and that is the plan we must follow. Pam told me that even though you would think Matthew would be in pain from the surgery he just had she said he doesn't seem to be in any pain. Which makes us wonder just how much pain he was in before the surgery. The doctor gave him some pain meds after the surgery but since then he hasn't needed any. Thank God!

Matthew will be physical therapy again on Monday. His home nurse Kathy said that when she worked with him Friday he was doing great. She was so excited because she said he did EVERYTHING she told him to do! They want to start taking him somewhere to do his physical therapy just so he will get more out of it. Pam said that if they take him somewhere that he will get speech therapy as well. Oh I can't wait to hear his voice again! Even if it is filled with wise cracks!!!!! Pam says it is almost like he can see better. They used to have to get up close to his face when they would talk to him but now she said if they get that close it's almost like he's trying to make them back up! Pam said it's amazing at how alert he is.

Pam did say that the front part of his brain wasn't holding the fluid like it should. But the doctor wants to see him back in two weeks and then again in a few months. At that point they will decide if the shunt needs to be adjusted. So please say a special prayer that Matthew will have no permanent brain damage. I just can't thank God enough for all he's doing. We all know that none of this would be possible without His healing hand!

Matthew...Great news!

I just spoke with my Grandmother...and Matthew is already back home! He is doing really good. They did a CT scan today and said the ventricles were filled up the way they should and his brain has shifted back to where it should be! My Grandmother says he looks better than he has since his accident. She said, "He looks like Matthew again!" Since Matthew's first shunt was put in his eyes always pull to the left and he rarely ever looked to the right. We had always thought that it was because the shunt was over-shunting and now it's been confirmed...Matthew's eyes are not pulling anymore! Also he would pull his head down...almost like he was in pain...to the left side. (The left side is the side where the bone flap was done.) Since his surgery, he hasn't done it even once. And this was something he would do several times a day. I'm sure Matthew is still in some pain and has soreness from the surgery but I can only imagine the relief he feels from having this surgery done. We have all felt like he must have a constant headache...way worse than any we have ever had...and we have all been waiting on this surgery because we felt it would be the start to new things for him. Thanks to God things are looking really good. Please keep saying those prayers. They are being felt. Hopefully I will have a lot of new and exciting updates about Matthew in the near future!

Thank you God for this wonderful miracle you are performing in front of our very eyes!

This picture was taken a while back. I was at one of Matthew's games and he was warming up to pitch. I miss him so much!!!!!

Lane

Last night was possibly the worst night I've had since Aaron left. Lane was up all night. Right before I went to bed I checked his diaper...he was dirty. Well I didn't want him to end up with a raw butt so I changed him, waking him up. Well after that there was no getting him back to sleep. He was crying non stop and wouldn't be still. I put in him the bed with me thinking he would calm down. He didn't; he just woke Logan up. Thankfully Logan was tired so he just went right back to sleep but only after telling Lane to be quite because he was sleeping! I'm pretty positive that I didn't sleep one SOLID hour. Around 7 this morning I was so tired of fighting him that we just came downstairs. Even though he was playing he was crying. It's so frustrating because nothing you do helps. I had given him meds, used baby oral gel, herbal teething tablets, and fed him. One thing I've noticed about Lane, once he's mad, he just has to get it out...there is no consoling him. Which is hard for me because I need to fix everything. So needless to say I was exhausted, mentally and physically, this morning. So far today the boys have fought non stop and Lane will randomly start crying. He has taken one nap in which time I tried to take one but Logan wasn't having that. So when 2PM gets here...we are all taking naps. Thankfully one tooth has broke through but I can feel the swelling on the lower gum. Lane's teeth have erupted way out of the usual order. He got his bottom two, then the top two, then he got the top and bottom lateral incisior on the right...now he's getting the left lateral incisor on the top and bottom! He been a little lop-sided. Weird! This has really put a damper on my day!

We opened presents from Grandmother. Logan was very excited about his car. Lane, like any younger brother, wanted what his brother had. So these pictures show Lane's attempt to steal the car from Logan...and in the last one...Logan got tired of moving away from him so he just gave it to him.

This is Logan being good...and Lane trying to steal the car!
See that look on Lane's face...thats the face I have looked at all night and day. I want his smile back!!!! He is whinning at Logan trying to steal the car.

Logan got mad so Lane got his way. Logan stormed off with a "fine, you can have it!"

Random Facts

Tagged by Brooke

Rules: Write 6 random things about myself, link the person who tagged you & post the rules. Tag six people...

Random Facts:

#1. I rarely buy anything at regular price. I always wait for a sale or check eBay to see if I can get it cheaper. This drives Aaron crazy. I'm the world's worst to wait about buying something just so I can save $10.

#2. I love to sing and often sing at the top of my lungs while I'm driving down the road. Singing is my outlet. Even after all these years it's still my dream to one day get back up on a stage and get to perform and sing MY songs and have my own CD.

#3. I am very impulsive. I like to plan but I never follow my plan. Everything always comes down to a last minute decision. Which, thanks to God, always seems to work out!

#4. Most people know this but some don't...I was only engaged for a little over a week and I only knew Aaron for 1 1/2 months before we got married. This may go along with #3 but it was one of the greatest decisions I've ever made in my life and I wouldn't change it for the world. He is truly my other half and my soul mate!

#5. I'm a control freak...there I said it. I can't stand for something to happen that I can not fix. I must know the answer to everything or it will drive me crazy. I'm usually always right...hehe!!! Aaron will beg to differ! I normally drive whenever I go somewhere...even when I'm with Aaron...because other people's driving freaks me out because I can't brake for them! My loving step dad tops the list of people who's driving makes my blood pressure rise.

#6. Since marrying Aaron...4 1/2 years ago...we have moved 6 times...of those 6 times Aaron was only able to help me with 2 of them thanks to the Army. So needless to say I'm a moving pro...thankfully...for the moves that Aaron hasn't gotten to help with I had wonderful family...especially Mom and Sharon...who have helped me or movers. I have to say having movers move your stuff is the way to go. Our next move will be by movers...I can sit on the couch and watch them pack my stuff...that is the way to go!!!!!

This was harder than you think!!! I'm tagging: Aishlea, Angela, Brooke H., and Jessica...I don't have six people to tag...haha...have fun ladies!

I can't wait until bedtime!

Aaron called this morning while we were getting ready. We had not talked in a few days and he was hoping I had lots to talk about. Unfortunately my week has consisted of nothing other than work, feeding and cleaning kids, and sleep. My life is normally pretty boring! What sucks is that he could probably talk for hours about the things they have been doing but he can't. All that top secret Army stuff! It really sucks cause I would love to hear more about his day other than "it was good...I got some things done." He talked to the boys a little. Lane is quite the talker now. He's so funny.

Lane had a bit of a fever this morning and diarrhea. Poor little guy...cutting teeth is so hard on him. Logan never had trouble...never even got fussy with it...but Lane has been a totally different story. He gets really bad diarrhea which leads to really bad diaper rash. Then to top it all off he has sore gums and just feels lousy. He woke me up at 4:30 this morning and was still really tired when I dropped him off at the sitters. He cried for me...broke my heart. But I had forgotten something so when I walked back in to drop it off he was falling asleep on the sitters arm. She said he did good today but that she had changed 8 dirty diapers. I've changed 3 just since I've been home. Hopefully that tooth will break through soon. Last time this happen he broke 2 through at once.

Logan said he had fun at school. He has a little shinner on his forehead though. He said they were playing in the romp and stomp and he ran into another little boy. He said "I was tough mom and I didn't even cry!" That little boy is tough as nails though. He's so used to play fighting with Aaron that he can really take a punch so a little bump is nothing!

Work was a mad house today. I think about the only time I sat is when I was stuffing chilli in my face. Thanks to Lisa we all had lunch! I got a little irritated by some things today so that just added to the frustration. I think it was a rough day for everyone. They held a manditory meeting after patients were finished just to go over some of the things that happened and allow everyone to voice their opinions. Another reason I love working there. They really value their employees opinions and try to take ideas to better the practice. I'm so glad that my work understands my situation because they are always understanding to the fact that I have to have my boys picked up by 6. I feel so bad leaving especially when I feel like I'm leaving the other girls with a ton to do but I really don't have a choice.

Well tonight is going to be an early night. I'm super tired and Lane has already tried falling asleep in the floor. A dirty diaper explosion woke him! Yes I know it's gross but it's true. Tomorrow I'm going to try to head to the grocery store and clean the house up a little. I didn't talk to anyone today to find out how Matthew was. By the time I got home it was already 10PM central time so I didn't want to bother anyone. But I'm assuming that since no one called me that things are about the same and he's doing well. I'm going to call his room tomorrow and hopefully talk to Pam or Jim so I will update when I hear something. Have a good night!

Thanks to God

Today I am so proud to post that Matthew's surgery went well. He is currently recovering and the doctors are very optimistic. I talked to Paige tonight, Matthew's sister, and she said that although he is swollen he still looks good. He has a slight ridge on his head where they put the new bone piece but the doctor says that should settle. At this point though...if it makes him feel better a ridge is the last of worries! His congestion has come back so he was having a tough time with that tonight which has to painful. Coughing without moving your head is next to impossible. The doctors will be doing another CT Scan on him in the next day or two. The doctor did say he could tell how much the shunt was over-shunting just by looking at the CT Scan that was done right before Thanksgiving compared to the one done on Monday. They are pretty confident that this new shunt will help him a good bit. Paige said the doctor told them they set the shunt on two...not quite sure the meaning of that though. So if anyone does please share.

Paige did say that Matthew was awake after his surgery. He is in a room...not ICU...and he was looking around. Paige said Matthew just looked at her for a long time...I can only imagine how much he has to say. The doctors believe that if all goes well Matthew will be able to go back home by this weekend. Once home and once Pam and Jim feel he is ready they will start doing his physical therapy and working hard to get him ready for rehab. Jim has always been able to push Matthew...in a good way...so he is great at getting Matthew to work hard at getting better and keeping his spirits high. While talking with my friend Angela she said it well...it's like he has to "recover...to recover." Matthew has to get to a point where the people at the rehab feel he will benefit the most from rehab. Until he gets to that point there is really no point in having him go. So until he gets a little more alert he will do his rehab at home. So please keep him in your prayers!

Another blessing today, Lane had a great day at the new sitters. He was in a good mood when I picked him up. This sitter also keeps a little boy who just turned 1 and she was thinking it would be good for both of the boys to play together. She said what she didn't expect is for Lane, the smaller one, to be the more aggressive one. She said that if the other boy had something Lane wanted, Lane took it. Great...I have the bully! I've got to work on that. He's so used to playing with Logan who is so rough with him that he doesn't understand that he has to be gentle with kids his age. I've said along he's going to be a tough one...now I've just got to teach him to share!!!!!

Well I'm off to get ready for bed. I got off early at work today...well if you call 4:45 early...and tomorrow is going to be crazy. Another day with two doctors and only the normal staff for one doctor! Say are prayer for us!!!!!!!

Another Monday

Not to much to write about today. I took the boys to Heather's. Logan's day care was closed but I still had to work. Went to work, picked up the boys, and then headed home. The boys were tired so they both went to bed fairly early. Now I am off to bed myself.

Please keep Matthew in your prayers tomorrow. He made it to the hospital safely. So tomorrow he should be ready to go with his surgery. So please say a prayer that it all goes well and he recovers quickly. This will be the 3rd time they have had to open up his head. As soon and I get news on how it went I will post it.

One other thing, Lane starts at a new sitters tomorrow so please say a prayer that it goes well and he adjust quickly.

Goodnight!

Happy Birthday Sweet Little Boy

Today my oldest baby turned 4. Wow it seems like just the other day I was pregnant with him and just getting ready to have him. All nervous and scared as to how good of a mother I would be. It was a brand new chapter in my life but both Aaron and I were eager to start it. The morning of January 18, 2005 began for us around 4:30AM. I woke Aaron up and told him I thought I was in labor. I decided to take a hot bath and try to relax. I was dead set on spending as much time at home as I could because I didn't want to end up in the hospital for 15-20 hours. So the plan at that point was for me to try to relax at the house while Aaron drove into work to get things situated...he was just a specialist at that point and a spc in the Army has to check in before doing anything! Well little Logan had other plans. Before Aaron could get dressed for worked and out the door...I thought I was dieing. I was crawling around on the floor cause it was the only way I could find comfort. Aaron I'm sure thought I was crazy. I think I scared him because he refused to leave me home by myself so he hauls me out into his big truck and takes me to work with him. By the time we got there I was just telling him to hurry up and get me to hospital. I thought I was prepared for labor but I was in no way ready for that! Wow! He runs inside for what felt like an eternity but in reality was only a couple of minutes and then back out to drive me to the hospital. I slowly walked in...for some reason I refused to let him help me even though we had to stop every minute for me to bend over and catch my breath! My independent side was coming out I guess. So here I was, the girl who was determine to it without any meds, walks into the labor and delivery asking for an epidural! I must have just been talking crazy because I remember at one point one of the nurses asked me who I was talking to. Heck I didn't care! I was talking to anyone who was willing to listen and then do something about it. Once I got checked in and got my epidural the rest was wonderful. Aaron and I were able to relax and we just hung out together. We even played cards. It was actually really nice. My mom, Scotty, and Trevor got there just as the doctor was coming in to check me. We were all surprised that it was time to push...we had only been in the hospital about 5 hours! Logan was born at 10:37 AM on a beautiful Tuesday morning. He was an absolute angel. The only time I remember him crying while we were in the hospital was when the doctors made him cry. He was such a good baby from the beginning. He has always been so loving and a little shy. He's a funny little character and you never quite know what he's about to say. His little laugh will brighten up the darkest day. He fills our life with so much joy and life just wouldn't be complete without him. Logan you are such a special little boy...I'm so proud of you. Happy 4th birthday!!!!!


This is a picture of Logan when he was 3 months old. This picture was taken the day before Aaron left for Iraq.

In this picture Logan is 10 months, the same age Lane is now. I just put this one in here to compare how much the two boys look alike! What do you think???

I wrapped Logan's gifts last night and put in the dinning room. I figured he would notice them right away when he woke up this morning. I was wrong. He walked by them more times than I can count and never noticed a thing. Finally I told him it was time to open his presents from Mom and Dad but he had to find them first. He asked where they were and I told him he had been walking past them all morning. This picture was taken right after he saw them!

I was pretty shocked that he wanted to open his card first!
Opening his big gift!This was when he figured out what it was..."Wow a new TV!"He also got two new movies...The Little Mermaid and Finding Nemo...I love the Disney Movie Club!

So I have to share this. Tonight as we were driving home from picking up dinner...Logan wanted Burger King for his birthday dinner but they were closed so he settled for Carls' Jr...he was telling me that he was no longer "this many" as he held up 3 fingers. I told him he was right and he was trying to figure out how to hold up 4 fingers. When I told him he was 4 he said "yes mom, I'm bigger now so I can get the driver's seat." I asked him if he thought he was old enough to drive and he said, "yes, I'm big now!" I told him he still had a few years to wait and he said, "no mom, I'm big now!"

Logan's 4th Birthday Party

Aaron called this morning and woke us up. Logan talked to him a bit more than usual which was really good. It always makes Logan feel better to talk to him and I know Aaron loves it! Today was Logan's birthday party. It turned out really nice. Cori had made Logan the spiderman cake he wanted and it turned out awesome. Poor Cori...she has been working so hard on it and had it all done last night and then woke up this morning to find that the top two layers had fallen off. So she managed to fix it and then on the ride over all the bumps in the road had caused it to start leaning. But the cake still looked awesome and tasted great! She is the best. Logan had a lot of fun playing with his friends. We decided to play laser tag so the kids were pumped for that. Logan didn't want to go in at first but I told him I would play with him so he was willing to try. We had so much fun. I felt like a little kid again! I ended up being ranked number 2...Hailey beat me! Even though Logan and I were on the same team he kept trying to shoot me. I tried explaining that he needed to shoot the blue team but he didn't care...he had a gun and he was ready to use it. He was ranked 7 out of 10. He did good and came out wanting to play again. So I'll have to plan a trip to take him back. After the party Logan was invited to go to McDonald's with Wyatt. So he went and had fun. I went to our FRG get together. It was nice and we wives got to chat. Lane was getting pretty tired so we headed home. I went next door to get Logan but he didn't want to come home. So he is still playing next door. Little party animal! Today was a fun busy day. Logan had a blast!

For some reason I can't get the slideshow to post on here so click on "view all images" to see pictures from the birthday party!

Warm Friday

Today was an unusually warm January Friday. The snow is melting. It sounds likes it's raining as the snow is melting off the house. A nice sound, but I know better than to get excited because the cold will be back a lot sooner than I want it too. My computer says it 44 degrees outside. Which feels very warm. I love it. It's a nice break from the last few weeks!

Today the little boy next door, Wyatt, came over to play with Logan. They had a good time. Wyatt has gotten Logan interested in a cartoon called Ben 10. It's about a young boy who has this watch that turns him into an alien so that he can fight the bad guys. A little strange I know but Logan loves it. He now tells me that he wants a Ben 10 birthday party. He just doesn't understand that I can't just change the theme over night! Everything is ready for his party tomorrow. My wonderful friend, and neighbor, Cori has been working like crazy to make Logan's cake amazing. She has been updating me with the progress and I have to tell you...just wait til you see the picture of his cake. It's awesome. By far the best cake he has ever had. I don't how she does it...her work makes my cake look horrible! I've got to get her to teach me all she knows!

This afternoon the boys and I headed to town. I'd decided to buy myself an espresso maker so that I don't spend $4.00 every morning on my drink! So after getting home I went to work on getting it to taste as good as the ones I buy. Finally I got pretty close. I've got to get some vanilla syrup and then I think it will be perfect! Yay! I'm so proud. Now I can have one whenever I want. I will probably even get Aaron hooked on them. I think he will like it!

The boys were in bed early tonight. Lane was tired cause he missed his afternoon nap and Logan didn't have one today either. So he was whinny and not listening to a word I said. Plus I need him in a good mood tomorrow. I have everything ready for the party. It's not going to be huge but at least he's going to get to play with his friends.

Haven't talked to Aaron since Wednesday but Amy hasn't talked to her husband so they must be busy. Which for him is good but for me...well I love getting phone calls from him! I just hope that he gets to call on Logan's birthday...or get on the computer. That would just make Logan's birthday as close to perfect as it can be.


This picture is over 10 months old but I decided to put it on here because I love it! This was taken the night I had Lane. This was the first time Logan held him. Brothers!

Early Birthday Celebration

Sunday will be Logan's 4th birthday. I swear time flies. I still remember him being this sweet little cuddly baby boy. So tiny and precious. He's still sweet...sometimes! This morning I took Logan to school so that I could get things finalized for his birthday party on Saturday. Lane and I headed to Walmart to pick up stuff for the gift bags and to look for Logan a bean bag chair. Walmart didn't have any so we checked Fred Meyers. They have these bean bag chairs that you make yourself. You buy a bag of "beans" and what ever outside cover you want. It's kind of neat. They had a spiderman looking one which was perfect because Logan has been saying he wants a spiderman birthday party for the last year! We also picked up some cup cakes to take to his school so he could celebrate with the kids there. We came home and I put the bean bag chair together. It would have worked a lot better if there had been another person here to help but I finally got it! Then I realized I didn't really have any where to put it. So I decided to let him have it early. I'm going to make him wait until Sunday to get the big gift though.

Lane and I took the cupcakes. All the kids were excited. Aaron had told me not to let them sing happy birthday to him...Logan has been known to get really angry when you sing happy birthday to him! But I forgot and they started singing before I could really stop them. Thankfully he was ok with it! He smiled while they sang and looked really excited that there was a party for him! All the kids had their cupcakes. And wow, I'm so thankful for the way I have raised my kids. Some of those kids were a mess after eating their cupcakes. One little girl looked like she had painted her hands green with the icing. I could not be a teacher! I just don't have the patience. I was sitting there while the kids were finishing snack time and I was amazed how some of the kids acted. Logan sat in his chair the whole time with his hands in his lap just like he was suppose to. He cleaned up after himself and put his dishes away. Even pushed his chair in when he got up. He was an angel! To bad he's not that good for me...but I guess it's better he's good in public! He is really a great little boy and I'm so lucky to be his mom!

Logan licking a little icing off his finger! This is the front part of his class room.
Cheesin for the camera!

He came home and jumped right on it. I told him his Daddy got it for him so now he won't get off it!

It's Love!

You know you really love someone when you really miss the things about them that normally drive you crazy! Like dishes left in the sink, shoes in the floor that you trip over, uniforms laying wherever! I miss it! I miss folding his clothes and having to turn his socks right side out everytime. I miss cooking for him every night. I miss sitting on my couch not being able to watch the things I want on TV.

I miss the little things. I miss wondering what time he will get home from work. I miss the sound of the front door opening and hearing his voice and seeing his smile. I miss him falling asleep on the couch. I miss being able to talk to him whenever I want. I miss waking him up to get ready for work. I miss watching him play with our kids. I miss him laughing at me when I do something stupid. I miss our lunch dates. I miss being able to just call him when I want to tell him something. I just miss HIM! I love you so much Aaron...I'll wait as long as it takes!

Matthew has a surgery date!

Just found out today that Matthew will have his next surgery on Tuesday, January 20th. I don't have a time yet but most likely sometime in the morning. They will be changing out his shunt to an adjustable one and putting the new bone piece in. We are all believing that this surgery will be a big help to Matthew. Right now his shunt is pulling too much fluid off the brain plus he is missing part of his skull. The doctor says that by fixing this shunt it should allow Matthew to have more movement with his arms and legs. We are all praying that this will be the turning point for Matthew.

We all ask for your prayers. Thanks!

It warm outside!!!!!

So after two and half weeks of -50...yes, negative 50 weather...we are warming up. When I got off work today it was above freezing. Not too sure exactly what the temp was but it was warm enough to melt the snow! But I'm not going to get to excited because I know the cold will be back way to soon. Bad thing is along with melting snow comes slick ice...and as usual when the snow starts melting...I start falling! And I did. I was walking in to pick Lane up and down I went. Legs flew straight out in front of me and I fell flat on my back. Thankfully no one was watching...at least I don't think so. Logan says he didn't see me. I managed to not hit my head but I did land on the corner of the stairs so I know I'm going to feel it in the morning! Guess I should be more careful...but I don't think anything could stop me from falling on the ice! Last year I scrapped my chin on the ice! Oh well...I've come to accept my clumsiness!

Work was good and the boys seemed to have a good days. Ang...we missed you today at work!!! Logan wanted to eat KFC for dinner so we headed to the drive-thru. Aaron called while we were waiting. He's doing good. It was nice to hear his voice. It had only been two days but so much has happened during that time it felt like it had been a week! While I was talking to Aaron, Lane starts screaming Dadadadadada...it was like he knew who was on the phone. Speaking of Lane, he has started standing by himself. He knows how to walk but he won't. He will take one step and then sit down. He will stand until he realizes he's not holding on to something. He walked across the living room floor holding on to nothing but Logan's shirt. So I know he can do it...just hasn't gotten his confidence up! Well I'm going to be lazy and finish watching American Idol. I just love the first few shows...they give me a good laugh!

Logan was watching TV but Lane wanted to play...this little boy is going to be tough...he loves to play rough already!

Finally Logan just let him have it...it might look like Logan is being mean but Lane is laughing like crazy. He loves it!

This is when he was walking across the living room. He started on the other side of the carpet and they walked towards me. It just kind of happened...Logan was trying to get away from Lane and Lane just grabbed him and was kind of running with him. You could just tell he was so proud of himself!

Wow, what a week...

And it's only Tuesday. Monday was a crazy day at work. It was Monday..we expect it...doesn't mean will like it! So after I got off work I got the boys and headed home and tried to figure out what I was going to do. I had to fly to Anchorage to take a test for work today...Tuesday. So I didn't know if I should let the boys spend the night with a friend or if I should wake them up at 4 AM to drop them off. I knew that the right thing would be to let them spend the night. I mean it wasn't fair to make them get up at 4 only to lay down again once they got to Heather's. So the rational side of me said yes, take them to Heather's, while the mom side of me said no you can't let them sleep somewhere else! So I asked Logan what he wanted to do. He begged to spend the night. Aaron called and I asked him and he said for me to do what I thought best but if Heather called to tell me Logan wanted to come home I better head straight to get him...see I'm not the only crazy parent in the bunch! (But we are not crazy...just caring loving parents!) I told him of course I would go get him...what does he think I am some mean mom! So the rational side won over. I packed their bags, almost in tears. Logan was bouncing off the walls so excited to go play at Heather's. Lane didn't have a clue...and I don't think he really cared. He loves Heather and I blame her for spoiledness! Once we started down the road Logan tells me he forgot his Daddy Doll and that I need to go back and get it. Well of course I couldn't say no so we did. I get the boys over there and take them in. Logan starts playing right away. I ask him again if he is ok with staying the night...for a slight second he hesitates and then says bye mom! Lane waved at me. It was a lonely, sad ride home. I had told Aaron earlier I didn't know what was wrong with me. I was constantly talking about how insane these two children of mine were driving me and here I was going to be away from them for the night and most of the next day and I was an emotional basket case. It was the first night I have spent away from Lane and it was the first time Logan had spent the night with someone other than family. I couldn't sleep.

After a lot of tossing and turning the alarm clock went off at 4AM...uggggggg...I was out the door and off to meet my plane which boarded at 5:35. Grabbed some caffenine...an Iced Vanilla Latte...I swear I'm addicted! I made it to Anchorage...roughly...but I made it. It's only about an hour flight so not too bad. I studied on the way...trying to cram another inch of that book into my brain. Ate breakfast in the airport and studied some more.

I got a taxi to the testing center. That was experience. That was only the second time I remember being in a taxi...first time I was 12 and with my parents! So here I was trying to talk to this driver that I could barely understand. He had no clue where I needed to go. He knew the street but not the place. So here we are driving down the street looking for the building number at 8:30 in the morning...which might not be to hard in the lower 48 but in Alaska...it's still pitch black dark at 8:30 in the morning!!! This guy was literally stopping in the street...a pretty busy street at that...to look for building numbers. Well the thing was he would look for the building numbers on a school or a church...the testing center was an H&R Block. I mean come on...I had never been there and I knew we didn't need to slow down at those places! Geezzz! I was so ready to get out of that car...I wasn't worried about my test anymore...I just wanted to get out of that car, alive and on time. So $36.00 later I was there. And 5 minutes early. Took my test...in 50 minutes. I knew I had done the best I could have. I just wanted my scores. Well out comes my little paper...and it says...THEY WILL MAIL ME MY SCORE IN 8 WEEKS!!!!! Are you kidding me! All the other girls I work with got their scores the day of the test...why didn't I. I still don't know...just said my score wasn't finalized at that time. So I'm thinking I did really really bad and they are making sure the computer wasn't messed up or I did so good they are making sure I didn't cheat...I'm sure it would be the first...way before the second! LOL!

Since I was near a mall and my flight didn't leave for another 6 hours...shopping I go. It was a pretty nice mall...problem was I wasn't in a shopping mood. I wanted to go get my kids...and take a nap! I walked around for a bit...bought a nice pair of jeans...had lunch...then called a cab. I was going to try to get an earlier flight home...the 1 PM flight was canceled...I had to wait til 3:10. UUUUGGGGG....So I did. I read a book and relaxed as best you can in an airport chair. The guy sitting in front of me was wearing cuffs and under police escort. That's always a nice feeling when your about to get on an airplane. Once we got on they had to de-ice the plane. They ran out of de-icer and had to get more...GEEZZZ PEOPLE...CAN I JUST GO HOME!

Finally I did...met Heather at McDonald's and had dinner and picked up my boys. Logan was not happy at all to see me. He didn't seem to have missed me at all. Heather said there was two times he mentioned me! Yay...I feel so loved! LOL. Lane is always happy to see me so he loved on me at least. When we got home we opened Christmas presents from Aunt Sharon....THANK YOU!!!! The boys love their toys and Logan was looking at the books...wouldn't let me read them to him though. So now after talking to mom and writing this...I'm off to shower and get ready for bed. I am so tired. Work tomorrow!

Another week closer to his return

Today started off with a 6:30 phone call from Aaron. He called again at 7:30...both calls kind of ran together and I can't remember exactly which conversation was with which phone call...I was dead asleep. But he had talked to the retention guy (the guy who handles reenlistments) so he wanted to let me know what he said. Basically two of the places we had talked about going...Redstone Arsenal and Ft. Rucker...were pretty much out of the question because Aaron's job wasn't at either of those places. Which we kind of expected but both are close to home so we were checking just to see. There were 3 other places we had talked about and he said those 3 would work out without any problems. Ft. Benning, Ft. Campbell, and Ft. Carson. Personally I am leaning towards Ft. Benning just because Aaron could go be an instructor for a school for a while and we MIGHT could take a break from all this deployment crap. Aaron loves Ft. Campbell and I do too but we know going there would only mean another deployment probably not long after we moved there. And Ft. Carson is in Colorado so it's a little further away from home than where I would like to be. And they get snow! I don't want snow for a while! I asked Logan today if he would want to move somewhere that had snow or if he wanted to go somewhere that was hot. His reply..."I wanta go somewhere that it's hot!" Spoken like a true child of mine!!!! But Aaron hasn't made a definite decision on what he wants to do so as of right now getting out is still an option. His window to reenlist doesn't even open til March. Meaning...he can't sign any reenlistment papers until March. So we have some time to think. Which is good. I don't want to rush this decision.

After talking to Aaron the boys were still asleep and I went right back to sleep myself. They let me sleep until 10:30...that NEVER happens. It was so nice! Logan, Lane, and I went over to Susan's and got to see Diesel. Logan was so happy to see him and Diesel was happy to see us. For those who don't know Diesel was our dog that we got not long after moving here. He is a huge Akita but despite his size is still as pup. He just turned 2 last October. Aaron and I made the decision to give him to a friend of ours who doesn't have any kids and was basically spending the deployment alone. I knew I wouldn't have time to spend with him and I knew I would not have patience with his hyperness especially when he would be stuck in the house during this cold. I love him but at the end of the day I need a break from him! Aaron was the one who spent most of the time with him and he was truly Aaron's dog as he didn't listen to me hardly at all. Aaron misses him...sometimes I think more than he misses me (LOL) and he wishes we hadn't given him away but I feel it was for the best that we gave him to Susan. She loves him like a child and he has more room to run there because she doesn't have a house cluttered with toys. I do miss him lots though. Logan was playing with him like he would always do at our house. They had the rope out and Logan was playing keep away from Diesel. Lane was even happy to see Diesel and he was petting him. So cute. After leaving there I took Logan over to play at Heather's. We stayed there for a while and then headed home. Lane is already in bed...he was so give out since he missed his afternoon nap. Logan is still up but will be heading to bed soon. School and work tomorrow. Mondays are always crazy at work so I better get some rest. Busy day!

To Reenlist....or not

This post is for Aaron. As I knew it would happen, the guy who was dead set on getting out of the Army now thinks he might want to stay in. I say I knew it would happen simply because his only reasoning for wanting out was because of this place...not Alaska...but how backwards the Army is here. Its kind of like they have their own set of rules. Pretty sad for those who have this place as a first duty station because their standards are really low. The things I have seen them let slide here amaze me. At Ft. Campbell rules were strict but they had to be. That makes good soldiers. And who wants to go to war with someone who can't follow simple instructions. At Campbell...and you will hear me sat this a lot as I really miss the place...if you got a DUI you got kicked out of the Army. Here I know of people who have gotten 3! At Campbell...you yelled, rolled your eyes, or smarted off to an NCO (Non Commissioned Officer) you would regret it for the rest of your career if your career in the Army continued. Here, if Aaron dares to treat a soldier the way he was treated...they tell him to slack up on them and not be so hard on them. Are you kidding me!!!!!! These men HAVE to respect each other and they have to TRUST each other. They place their lives in each others hands. Would you get in a car with someone you thought couldn't drive...well our soldiers have to go to war with people they barely know, and pray that when the going gets tough...they remember what they were taught!

Aaron loves being in the Army. It's what he's always wanted to do. Some kids dream of being doctors and lawyers, but Aaron wanted to be in the Army. He loves it and he's good at it. He has succeeded so much during his 6 years in the Army (October is his year mark). He is currently at the highest rank for his time in service...meaning that since he's only been in for 6 six years he can't be any higher rank than E-6 which he is. He is working on his 3rd full year deployment. He has the respect and admiration of a large group of young soldiers who think SSG Potter rules the world and they will do anything he tells them to. They may not always like it but they listen to him because they respect him. He really cares about his guys and teaches them the rules of the real Army...not the slack, second rate rules that they lives by here. Aaron wants his guys to be prepared for whatever comes and he works everyday to do that. He is very proud of his guys and though he's hard on them...he believes firmly in pushing for their promotions. And he does. If you can't tell I'm extremely proud of him but it's not just because I'm his wife. Take one look at the shadow box that is full of medals and you will see for yourself that he is quite the soldier! (Yeah he's going to hate this paragraph of the post!)

But back to my reason for posting this. He was leaning towards getting out of the Army and I have to admit the idea was sounding nice. Moving home near my family, buying a house, having a "normal" life. It's all sounds great but then again...we have a normal life. This all seems normal to me. There are parts that I don't like with deployment being right there at number one but over all the Army has been good to us and I can't say too many bad things about it. So I thought I would lay out a list of pros and cons for reenlisting and let Aaron see what he thinks. He knows the decision is up to him and I support him in whatever he decides and I'm confident that he will make the right choice. So here's a little list to help the process. Love you babe!

Pros~
1. Loves this job
2. Dependable job (meaning no chance of getting laid off!)
3. Decent pay
4. Free (except for dental for me and kids) benefits
5. Chance to change your job if you get tired of this one...without changing companies or going without pay
6. Meeting new people...some of which we will remember for a life time
7. Chance to be a real life action hero!!!!
8. Chance to go to schools (and I'm not talking about book, educational school...I'm talking about Ranger School, Airborne School, and slew of other Army schools to increase the danger of his job...but he loves it!)
9. 6 years, 8 years before this enlistment is up towards retirement meaning you could retire at age 41

Cons~
1. DEPLOYMENTS...need I say more
2. Being away from family
3. Living life constantly "on call" and ready at a moments notice
4. Having your life dictated by the man
5. Pay is not that great...yes I know the other says decent pay but...for what he's doing...risking his life and all...and I know he could make more doing other jobs
6. Less than superior health care...there's a catch with that free benefits...you get second rate doctors!
7. Not being able to plan a wedding (I still want to have a big wedding/renewing vows...wanted to do it on our 5 year but he will be in Iraq) or vacation because you don't know if you will be home

Hockey night

Logan standing by the glass watching the game...

Logan had me take this picture. Not sure why but he said, "mom get your camera and take a picture." I took one but he had me take another...this one he approved!

Most of today I spent cleaning. My room was never really completely unpacked until today...how sad is that. We've been here since May! Finally today I got it all organized. You can actually walk in my room without stepping around clothes and boxes and whatever other junk was crammed in there! Funny thing is...when Logan walked in my room after it was all done he said, "wow mom your room in clean. I like your chair and your bed...it's so nice!" You know you've really made a difference when an almost 4 year old notices! Then he asked, "mom can you clean my room!" Hahahahahaha! I wish I could say that the rest of my house is as clean as my room and bathroom but that would be a lie! Now that the room is clean though I realized how bad I need some pictures on the walls in there. I do have most of the walls covered with stuff but in my room it's bare and now that the room is free of the junk it's in need of some decorating! I did laundry all day too. I'm still not finished but it's getting there. Two more loads I think. I had to pause my cleaning to get dressed. We had plans with Heather to go to the Ice Dogs hockey game and McDonalds. We went to MickeyDs first and let the kids run wild. They had a blast. Then we went to the game. On the way in Logan was being goofy and running around and ran right into Joey. Logan fell and since he had refused to put his gloves on his hands got cold. Well when it's -45 your hands are cold anyway and we all know how your fingers start to hurt when they are cold. He was screaming. I was carrying Lane so Heather grabs Logan and we run in as fast as we could. Once inside Heather takes Lane so I could help Logan and try to calm him down. Nothing worked. He was hysterical. I was trying to warm his hands but he was crying and screaming like something was seriously wrong. Once we sat down I was trying to love on him and get him to calm down but he was screaming "take me home!" He doesn't like the loud noise at the games and since he was already worked up this just gave him another reason to be mad. Some how I managed to catch a football that they were throwing in the crowd all while holding Logan (I was pretty impressed by myself!). He didn't want anything to do with it. A lady sitting close to us gave him a frisbee...he didn't care...he was mad! Finally after about 15 minutes he calmed down and sat beside me. About five minutes later he was fine and playing with the other kids. Thankfully! Lane had been pretty quiet the whole game but at the beginning of the 3rd he perked up. He started dancing to the music and clapping. It was so cute. After the game we all bundled up to brave the cold. Two adults towing five kids in freezing weather is not fun! But we did it. Logan was begging to go with Heather who was going back to McDonald's to meet Katrina who had been at the game with us for a little while. Lane was beyond tired so I knew I better get him home before the crying started. Heather wanted to take Logan so I let her. Logan was so happy. "Bye mom, I love you!" Once in the car Lane was screaming. It was 10 and he rarely stays up past 8:30. So now I'm home and Lane is in the bed and Logan is out being wild I'm sure. He will sleep good tonight!

Aaron called while we were at the game. I talked with him for a little bit. He was bored. I hate it when they get bored. I mean, if your going to take him away from me for a year at least have something for him to do. Chances are they have something to do but Aaron is an action type of guy so if he not doing "his job" then the rest is boring to him. Which I guess I can see his side to it. I mean sometimes it's nice to not do anything but when your away from your family you want to at least feel like your doing what you were trained to do or something you feel is important. Plus if they are busy they don't have much time to think or miss home. Hopefully the next few days won't be too bad for him. Maybe that means I will get a little spoiled with phone calls or internet time! We shall see I guess......

Matthew

I still remember the phone call like it was yesterday. It was a Sunday morning and I was just waking up. I will still pregnant with Lane at this point. My mom called and from the moment I heard her voice I knew something was wrong. She said Matthew had been in a really bad 4-wheeler wreck. Tears filled my eyes and the only words I could form was is he ok. Her answer...we don't know. He is unconscious and in Erlanger Hospital with a brain injury. The next few moments are all a blur. It was like my whole world shook and just stood still. I remember mom telling me not to get to worked up and to just pray. She was so worried about telling me because I was pregnant but she knew that I had to know. Matthew has always been such an important part of my life and more like a brother than a cousin. We grew up always playing together and spending time at his house. I remember always having my Grandfather take me over there to play. As we got older I would always go watch him play ball where ever he was playing and I was always so proud of him and his accomplishments. Matthew was a star at any sport he attempted but excelled most at baseball. He received a pitching scholarship to Jacksonville State. Even with the distance between us Matthew would always call me randomly to say hi and see how I was doing. And when he would play ball close to where I was living in Ft. Campbell he would call so I could go watch him. The night before Aaron and I left for Alaska we got together with Matthew and some of my other family and ate at Olive Garden. He gave me one of his big bear hugs before leaving and that was the last time I had seen him. It had almost been a year. I felt so helpless being so far away. All I wanted to do was go home. Aaron had been downstairs while I talked to my mom and as I was getting off the phone he came in the room. I lost it. The next few weeks were filled with prayer and begging God to heal him. On the 3rd day after the accident Matthew had to have surgery to remove part of his skull to make room for his swelling brain. At one point the doctors said they had done all they could do. His mom, dad, and sister spent what the doctors thought would be his last night with him but little did they know...God had a miracle in store for Matthew. Matthew pulled through that night, and the next, and next. Now a year and almost 3 months later...Matthew is still pulling through. It has been a rough road with many discouraging moments but also full of hope. There has not been one moment that I have doubted Matthew's healing. I just can't imagine my life without Matthew and I refuse to do so. As Matthew healed the doctors decided to replace the piece of bone in his skull that was removed not long after the accident. They were using the actual piece of bone that was removed which had been saved for this very surgery. A while after this surgery his mom and dad noticed that things were just not right. Matthew had developed a really bad infection in his brain so the piece had to be removed. Matthew had made what we felt like was a lot of progress but after this infection he lost a lot of weight and basically had to start his rehab over. As of now, he has been measured for a synthetic bone piece to be placed. This piece has been approved by the doctor and we are just waiting for the surgery date. At this surgery Matthew's shunt will be changed out as well as the placement of the bone piece. Another big problem Matthew has had is congestion which has brought on by the ARDS he has developed. Matthew lungs have gone through a lot and at one point he had two tubes in each lung. You can just tell that all this congestion and coughing makes him feel bad. When I went home to visit in August I finally got to see him for the first time since his accident. As good as it was to see him, it hurt just as much. Seeing someone you love so much unable to do all the things they used to do is heartbreaking. But through it all you could see the Matthew I know inside. Matthew loves kids and the whole time I was around him he would watch the boys play. He would just look at me like he wanted to tell me something but couldn't. I can't imagine how hard it is for him.

Matthew is working hard to regain his life. We all know that the road ahead is really long and it will be full of trials. But it's a road that we all know Matthew is strong enough to make. Matthew has made it this far and with God's help he will make a full recovery. Matthew response yes and no with eye blinks. He has begun raising one of his arms. Ironically, the first time he did this...he was holding a ball and when he raised his arm it was almost like he was trying to throw the ball...which went rolling across the floor. Matthew has finally started holding his head up a little more. He was doing this really well until the infection but he is regaining more and more of his strength. There are so many people out there praying for Matthew but we need more. Matthew's story is a miracle in the making and we all feel that God is using Matthew to show just how wonderful He his and that nothing is beyond His reach. I ask that all of you remember Matthew when you pray and please say a special prayer for his congestion and this next surgery he is about to under go. Also remember his parents, Pam and Jim, his sister, Paige, and all of his other caregivers. I just can't wait to see his big smile and hear his laugh. I miss him so much. I will keep you posted with his progress. Remember...Matthew 19:26..."With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

My new Do

I had been needing to have something done to my hair for a while. My highlights were all grown out and I needed a trim so bad. Problem was, I wanted something different but had no idea what I wanted. I didn't know if I wanted my hair long again or if I wanted to go back shorter. I new I wanted something darker but wasn't sure if I just wanted darker highlights or darker all over. I'm telling you I walked into the salon with no clue what I was getting done other than some kind of color and a trim. So after looking through a few magazines I decided I was pretty sure I wanted to let my hair grow. I've finally got it long enough again to put it in a ponytail and sometimes that's all the time I have! So first problem solved. Just getting a trim. So what color do I want. I decided I wanted it dark dark brown with a hint of red. So we went for all over color. I was so happy with the results. We kind of combined a couple of colors and just went for whatever came out. I'm not exactly picky about my hair and I don't mind taking a chance. I'm so glad I did cause I'm in love with the new "look." Its really not that different but it's a big enough change to make me super happy.

AAAAHHHHHH...lazy time!

Today was actually a very good day. It started off the best way possible...a call from Aaron on my way to work AND one of my new favorite drinks. (Thanks to Angela she has me hooked!) Work was super busy since today was the first day we have had two doctors since this summer. I did feel a little rushed throughout the day but I work better under pressure so I didn't mind it. I picked the boys up and we had a very nutritious meal from McDonald's! hehe! By the way Ang, the iced vanilla mocha's from McDonald's taste just like our drinks! Yummmmyyyyyy! Anyway, after we got home we ate of course and talked with mom over dinner. While we were finishing up Lane decided it was fun to throw his food on the floor. So I took his snacks away from him. Well he started screaming at me for more so I gave him one. As soon as he got it his hand rared back to throw it. I stopped him, told him no, and he laughed at me! Oh this kid! Mom and I talked on the phone for a while and then we decided to get on the webcams so they all could see the boys. Its so nice talking with them over that. It kind of makes me feel like I'm "home" for a little bit! I got to see Scotty and Trevor too and tried helping Trevor with his homework. I'm not to sure he liked my ideas! Brothers...they never listen! No matter how much younger they are!!!!! After talking with them I sat around with the boys for a bit and then it was off to bed for Lane. Logan wasn't far behind. He fell asleep on my bed while I was in the shower. He was tuckered. And that brings me to now. I'm pretty tired so I'm about to head off to bed myself. Even though tomorrow is an off day I don't think it's going to feel like one. I have so much to do and I'm just hoping that I have time to do it all. Cross your fingers!