Aaron called this morning so that made up for me missing his call yesterday. It was so nice to start my day out with his voice. A friend stopped by and picked up all the baby clothes that I'm getting rid of. So now that's 4 huge boxes out of my way! A little later in the afternoon my friend Susan and her husband Marc who is currently home on leave stopped by to pick up a bag to take back to Aaron. Marc played with the boys for a while which they both loved. Logan was doing a lot of pretending...even driving his pretend car to Walmart. Logan did not want Marc to leave.The boys and I were planning to go to Walmart today but that never happened. I just wasn't feeling to well. The last two days I've been getting these hot and cold flashes and just feeling really tired. So I start looking on the internet to find causes of this...and there it was. I pretty much read everything I was feeling and then it all made since. Stress. I don't know why reading this brought out everything that was inside of me but I totally lost it. The tears would not stop. Both of the boys were right there in front of me. I felt awful for crying in front of them but Logan was such a comfort. He hugged me so tight and even went and got me a tissue. He asked me if I was crying because I missed Daddy and I told him yes. He repeated my own words back to me..."it's alright to cry and it's alright to miss Daddy." I love that little boy so much. And I miss his Daddy more than words can say.
It's like God knew exactly what I needed...about 30 minutes after my breakdown I get a buzz on the computer. Aaron was online and had a webcam! I got to SEE him. For the first time since the beginning of January. It was so amazing. Just to see him smile and see him laugh with us. Both the boys were so excited. As soon as Lane saw him he started whispering "Dada Dada" over and over. I'm still smiling over our conversation even though it was almost two hours ago. He was able to hear us but we couldn't hear him so he had to type everything but it was still perfect and everything I needed. I can't thank God enough for letting me see him and just at the right time. As soon as I saw his face the tears filled my eyes. Aaron is the most amazing man I've ever met and at this point...almost 7 months without him...my heart is literally aching for him. I love him so much and I can't express that enough. There just are not enough ways. I love you honey...and I miss you so much
3 comments:
I'm crying over my breakfast this morning! My heart breaks for you, Tiff! You are such a strong woman. You are right and so is Logan. It is ok to cry...you should! Of course you miss Aaron! I've learned that you don't always have to be the strong tough one. It's def. ok to let it out and breakdown. You should feel a little better now.
I'm so glad you got to see Aaron over the webcam. I can't imagine how you and the boys felt. Logan and Lane are so blessed to have you as their mommy and Aaron is blessed to have you as his wife! Keep fighting...he'll be home soon!
Aww..you make me tear up! I am so happy that in the moment you needed it most, you were able to see him! I think it is healthy for Logan to see you cry! Most times, our children are more resilient than we think..and it is good for them to see how you handle it..and what a moment to allow God to show out and to show that He cares for us..even if it is by a ding on the computer! I pray for you all the time!
Tiffany~ I don't think you realize how strong you are! To have made it this far without a breakdown amazes me. And here I was complaining last week that b/c I was working too long at night I wasn't seeing Bran that much. I am sorry...you must think I am a real jerk!
You are such a good mom and wife and I am so glad you have great kiddos with you to comfort you when you need it! I am here if you ever just want to vent or cry... we all need it sometimes!
Praying for you! Love ya girl!
Post a Comment